"You are a light. You are the light. Never let anyone — any person or any force — dampen, dim or diminish your light … Release the need to hate, to harbor division, and the enticement of revenge. Release all bitterness. Hold only love, only peace in your heart, knowing that the battle of good to overcome evil is already won."
- John Lewis
Anger is a natural emotion, but if you let it linger, the aftermath can be detrimental. In the beautiful essay, Notes of a Native Son, James Baldwin talks about his complex relationship with rage, his father, and racism. The rage consumed James after a racist encounter to the point where he considered committing a crime so severe, it could’ve ended the possibility of a future. Baldwin saw just how parasitic racism was on a black man’s life when an incident at a diner caused James to reflect on his father’s life. Baldwin felt justified in his resentment of his father because of the ill-treatment he had experienced growing up. It wasn’t until he began navigating through the adulthood phase that he began to understand his father's anger. James never mentions his father by name in the personal essay, but his influence on his life was undeniable. Experiencing life through James Baldwin’s essay caused me to reflect on my relationship with
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anger. Was there any way to combat the disease of bitterness? Or was being angry my only solution? I believe there’s power in being angry, but there is more power in composure.
For James, his world was so big and full of possibility and wonder when he was a child. He couldn’t fathom how his father could look at the world and be discouraged. Meanwhile, James Baldwin’s father bore the burden of financial responsibility and the crushing weight of a
world telling you no because of your skin color. The two began to clash when James Baldwin’s teacher took him under her wing. James Baldwin writes:
“...In later years, particularly when it began to be clear that this “education” of mine was going to lead me to perdition, he became more explicit and warned me that my white friends in high school were not really my friends and that I would see, when I was older, how white people would do anything to keep a Negro down. Some of them could be nice, he admitted, but none of them were to be trusted and most of them were not even nice. The best thing was to have as little to do with them as possible. I did not feel this way and I was certain, in my innocence, that I never would.” (591)
Balwin’s naivete is something I have personally experienced. It wasn’t because I thought I was above the state of the world, I was sure the world had progressed past prejudice.
The most common place I have experienced racism was in the workplace. Many times I had allowed myself to overwork out of hopes of a promotion. Instead of my work ethic being rewarded, management would promote people with no seniority or experience for a position I wanted. Instead of being honest, they would move the goalpost for me and encourage me to work harder. After expressing my anger about the treatment, a manager insisted I was “jealous.” She
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suggested that I apologize for not being welcoming to my new coworker. I stayed at the job but started to resent the staff. After asking numerous times for a promotion, I saw a job listing for the position on the internet. I left immediately. I considered getting my revenge by going to HR, and after leaving the company two years ago, I still do. As angry as I was, I decided to move on with grace. I received a better position at a new company with more money as soon as I left the company.
For many minority children, education is the tool that helps combat the disadvantages in this world. “The U.S. has one of the highest rates of poverty in the developed world, despite its
collective wealth, and the burden falls disproportionately on communities of color.” (1) This ongoing problem has existed since the segregation era. People of color are still expected to combat the disadvantages and excel, especially in school. Minorities have to choose to succeed against the odds or be defeated. James used the injustices to propel his career. Unlike James, his father let bitterness deteriorate his health and the rest of his adult life. Black children must make a choice. To harbor resentment or expand beyond the limitations. James reveals his father was committed to a mental institution where he was diagnosed with tuberculosis. James never reveals his father’s mental health diagnosis. Out of respect, I will not make assumptions about how I feel it contributed to his father’s parenting. I can’t help but wonder if James would have had the chance to repair his relationship with his father had he addressed his health issues earlier. That is possibly more tragic than his funeral being on James’ birthday.
His father’s paranoia for his teacher, and anyone who shared her hue, wasn’t displaced. During the segregation period, white people commited unspeakable acts of violence to black
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people. The same day of his father’s funeral, a riot broke out. It was rumored, according to James, that a policeman killed a black man unjustly. I think it’s so interesting that Baldwin’s early adult to adult experiences mirror the modern-day black experience. His tone expressing the events is more confused than disapproving. He sees Harlem residents tearing up their communities and wonders why they wouldn’t direct the rage toward the white communities they don’t inhabit. He answers his question shortly after. He says that had the same damage been done in white neighborhoods, these people would have been incarcerated or worse. We have seen these events play in real-time with the George Floyd murder. Axios reports, “the total insured property losses incurred during the George Floyd riots will come in at $1 billion to $2 billion.”(2) Observing the conversations activists had during the height of segregation, it’s hard to ignore that little to nothing has changed. We are still fighting for fair wages, better schools, funding for schools, and access to opportunities. It’s frustrating how the world feels so progressive until we see black and brown people.
We often look to the Civil Rights Era as protesting the “peaceful” way. We reference the Black Panthers and Malcolm X when we refer to “aggressive” activism. These activists are monumental in black history. It has been said that the only way to fight injustice is to unify and protest peacefully. I don’t necessarily feel this way. With the countless amount of injustices African Americans have experienced, we have a right to be angry. I don’t place the responsibility on black people to evoke change in society. I blame politicians for continuously upholding systems that don’t allow minorities to succeed. While it is our responsibility to succeed in the world, we can’t deny the unjust systems that make it hard do the basics. Zoning,
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minimal funding for schools and public transportation, rent inflation, and low wages are some of the problems that have affect poverty-stricken demographics. (3) I don’t feel it’s proper to dictate a demographic's emotions while consistently ignoring the cause. We must also hold the politicians who are compliant in unfair systems accountable.
In many ways, the essay seems to be a homage to his father. Even though James lived scared of inheriting his father’s mental illness, he had somehow combatted the bitterness with activism. Successfully. By the end of the essay, I was not the only one who wished James had a time machine to tell his father what he had learned. James Baldwin mentions it in his last paragraph. Baldwin writes, “This fight begins, however, in the heart and it has now been laid to
my charge to keep my own heart free of hatred and despair. This imitation made my heart heavy and, now that my father was irrecoverable, I wish that he had been beside me so that I could’ve
searched his face for the answers which only the future would give me now.” (604) Who knows what that could’ve changed; we may have never got to read the insightful Native of a Son.
If we look at racism from a macro scale, nothing justifies the hateful acts that have stemmed from racial insecurity. With the amount of damage done to communities by systemic racism, we may never recover as a collective. Generations of white people have benefited from inequality and blamed minorities for their inability to recover. I don’t blame people for being enraged. I do think that after a continuous period, anger becomes isolating. It keeps you in a poisonous mind state that only you can justify. The double-edged sword of forgiveness may require us to let go of the generational resentment we hold on to. Slavery was not in our control. However, we can control how we love our partners, care for our children, and how we succeed.
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Works Cited
Baldwin, James, and Edward Jones. Notes of a Native Son. 1st ed., Beacon Press, 2012.
Beech, Bettina M., et al. “Poverty, Racism, and the Public Health Crisis in America.” Frontiers in Public Health, vol. 9, 6 Sept. 2021, 10.3389/fpubh.2021.699049.
Chused, Richard. “Strategic Thinking about Racism in American Zoning.” New York Law School Review, 2022, Vol. 66 Issue 2, p307-337. 31p.“Shibboleth Authentication Request.” Login.sjccezproxy.sjcc.edu, web-p-ebscohost-com.sjccezproxy.sjcc.edu/ehost/detail/detail?vid=6&sid=cce377cf-b24e-48c2-9964-d0a2f327d1e4%40redis&bdata=JnNpdGU9ZWhvc3QtbGl2ZQ%3d%3d#db=a9h&AN=158033664. Accessed 12 Oct. 2022.
Mccarthy, Joe. “10 John Lewis Quotes That Will Inspire You to Get into “Good Trouble.””,2020, Global Citizen, www.globalcitizen.org/en/content/john-lewis-quotes/.
Polumbo, Brad. “George Floyd Riots Caused Record-Setting $2 Billion in Damage, New Report Says. Here’s Why the True Cost Is Even Higher | Brad Polumbo.” Fee.org, 16 Sept. 2020, fee.org/articles/george-floyd-riots-caused-record-setting-2-billion-in-damage-new-report-says-here-s-why-the-true-cost-is-even-higher/.
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